Twilight Was Boring!

I was actually counting on it being entertainingly bad. But no such luck! It was just boring!

And I went to see it first run so I could review, just for you guys! And it bored me.

I actually sighed out loud with boredom and impatience several times throughout the movie! Of course, I did that with the book as well. BUT THE BOOK WAS BETTER!

Argh!

Okay, yes, Pattison can't act. It's true. And he's not that pretty and he has a pretty heavy blue beard for a permanently 17-year-old vampire. And, although Kristen Stewart CAN act, seeing the way Bella behaves in the book made real through the magic of film only underlines what a selfish, uninteresting character Bella is. She treats her friends badly, won't take an interest in anything they do, and ignores them the moment she gets the cute guy.

She breaks every girlfriend rule. Personally, I wouldn't have hung out with her for one second after what she pulled on the prom-dress-buying trip to town. She sulks in a corner of the shop, reading, and won't pay attention or give an opinion on her friends' dress picks. What an annoying bitch!

Worst of all, though, is the constant emo for no apparent reason. Sure, they're teenagers (or teenager and hungry vamp) so they're not in control of their emotions. But do WE have to suffer for that?

At least in the book you can skip over the boring stuff and get to the meat. And you can imagine for yourself how everyone looks. But the MOVIE! OMFG! If I hadn't drunk so much diet coke, I would've fallen asleep.

Oh, and one last thing: can't you take some of that budget and use it to make the vampires paler digitally? The white make up just ISN'T working for me, and never has.

Oh, and one more last thing: the one thing everybody complained about was the skin-sparkliness, but that actually worked for me. Disco vamps!